Richard: They always call me the morning after their date. It's the highlight of my day.
He said: I really liked her. She is pretty and seriously sexy. Yes I'd love to see her again.
She said: He wouldn't stop talking about himself. I couldn't get a word in edgewise. He is handsome no doubt but he just won't shut up. He was fixated on religion going on and on until saying he will never convert for me. Convert?! There's only one way I'd marry him - that's if I had six months to live - because every day would seem like a year.
Richard: Conversation is a dialogue not a monologue. Start with listening. Too many minds are too busy thinking of what to say next that they miss opportunities to engage banter. Banter flows freely skipping randomly from one subject to another. Banter builds sexual curiosity. Great banter is the intellectual equivalent to an orgasm. Relax! Dating is fun if you enjoy the moment. Talk less about yourself and more about life. Humorous anecdotes are all around us, so by all means laugh at the hilarity of life. Your goal is for her to tell her girlfriends: "OMG I loved talking with him." Really? What did you talk about? "Funny, I honestly couldn't tell you, but I'm seeing him again tomorrow."
Game, Set, Match...
Cheers, Richard xoxo
Richard Easton is the top matchmaker in the country according to ABC News, Huffington Post, iHeart Talk Radio, Wall Street Journal and numerous other media. HQ is 5th Avenue New York, NY
Don’t Disparage the Ex
by Richard Easton—The Matchmaker
Matchmaking isn’t easy. Whether you’re an ambitious amateur or a prudent professional, matchmakers get it wrong sometimes. Yet often enough the stars align and its magical, until that fateful mistake changes everything. Here is her story:
“He was tall, handsome, well-dressed and smelled great, everything you said he would be, Richard, and more,” revealed the beautiful brunette I had matched with my newest client.
“I was running 15 minutes late,” she confessed, “but I text him to say I was held up with a patient and would be there shortly. ‘No worries,’ he wrote back, ‘I’ll order the wine.’ I was so ready for a glass of wine—this blind date was looking good already. He stood as I approached. ‘You look so beautiful,’ he said, ‘I thought Richard was exaggerating but clearly he was understating.’ So charming...”
“Our conversation flowed as easily as the wine,” she went on. “About an hour into the evening we ordered dinner. He ordered for us. I love that. He was kind to the waiter as well, asking his suggestions, asking what I thought, making us laugh. I couldn’t help but smile wondering what our children might look like. Another bottle of wine, lots of eye contact, playful touching, sexual tension, you know, the good kind, so by the time dessert arrived, I was planning the wedding.”
“Then he asked, ‘Why are you single?’ I replied that I had been in a three-year relationship that ended a year ago, needed some time to myself, but now I was ready to try again with an open heart. He then asked if he could tell me about his ex. I said, umm, if you want.”
“Richard, he went on and on about his ex and how horrible she is. It was painful to hear him say such awful things about someone he once loved. Finally, after he’d dug himself into an abyss, he asked if he had said too much. I said no but the truth was written on my face: the spark was gone. I am sorry but I will not be seeing him again.” I tried to convince her otherwise but the damage was done.
Romantic suicide is not unique to men. Women perform this ritual too. We all have—but why? Everyone knows there are three sides to any love story: his, hers, and the truth in the middle. If you try to convince anyone that you were right and the ex was wrong, then you risk appearing bitterly narrow-minded and emotionally unavailable. Who wants rotten fruit in a fresh relationship? No one healthy. So don’t go there. Not on a first date. Not ever.
Think about it: Whether your ex was the romance of the century or a living nightmare, it’s over—so get over it. Live in the present, always looking to the future. Never volunteer information about past relationships, but if anyone asks, keep it simple: “We are friends which is probably all we ever were,” or “We were never meant to be.” Then gracefully change the subject to something lovely about the two of you. Make this rule one to live by not only with your romantic interests but also with friends and family. People around you will think: “Wow—that’s healthy!”
As for the client, his story was pretty much the same as hers including: “Richard, I think I may have blown it with the most wonderful woman I ever met. I knew I was talking, I recognized the sound of my voice, I just couldn’t believe what I was saying. Do you think she’ll give me another chance?” No, I said, but it is not your fault, it is mine.
Like the movie Hitch, my job is to coach men on whatever they need most. I somehow missed that one. Damn! I did make up for it, he never made the same mistake, all’s well that ends well, and as of this writing he is engaged.
Richard Easton is The Matchmaker—the Real Hitch
Visit his website: www.richardeaston.com
By Richard Easton
“A man does not ask a woman to marry him because he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He asks her to marry him because he cannot live the rest of his life without her.”
It’s a young woman’s worst nightmare. You fall in love with prince charming, imagining yourself married, someday starting a family. You think you have a clear understanding between you, but the years clip by so fast. You know he’s The One, but the more invested you become in your relationship, the less pressure you want to put on a marriage proposal, afraid he’ll run away, until one day, you awaken to discover “he’s never gonna marry you.” Your best years are behind you. You are totally fucked.
Women have been conditioned not to put any pressure on men for fear he'll pull ripcord. You think we don’t know what we want or when we want it. Think again. You cannot lose someone you do not have. Just know if you are The One, then it’s magic, but if you are not The One, then there is nothing you can do except move on—NOW!
Let’s look at the character flaw of The Procrastinator. These men can spend many years with you, intertwine their lives with yours, then suddenly break up with you, or trick you into breaking up with them, yet never feel the least bit guilty about it. They can break up with you on Sunday, be ready to date by Friday, and may have a date lined up. The Procrastinator rationalizes: “She had fun. I paid for everything. She is still beautiful. She can go online. I helped her rent a studio. She doesn’t really want children anyway, she just says she does. It didn’t work for me. What else could I do? It wasn’t my fault.” No remorse. None. Nada.
The Procrastinator will say things like: “What’s the rush? We have our whole lives to be married and start a family.“ No you don’t. He does. He can father children into his fifties. You start running out of time at thirty. You two can start out near the same age, be together for years, and then he can leave you to marry a woman many years younger. Happens every day.
The Decent Man
In contrast, the decent man would never stay in a relationship he sensed were going nowhere. He would set you free so you could fulfill your wish. He would realize that you have this window of opportunity, and if he took that opportunity away from you just because your relationship was comfortable and convenient for him, then he could never live with himself. He would rather be alone and lonely than see you miss out on marriage and children. But not this other motherfucker. He couldn’t give a shit less.
Know When to Pull the Trigger
Here is the turning point, that pivotal moment when you either find the courage to get what you want, or you are too afraid to take the risk. Let’s start with simple questions:
What have you got to lose by pushing him to pop the question? Nothing if you are The One. If you are The One, he could never let you go. When is the right time to expect a marriage proposal? Anytime between six to eighteen months. If any longer than that, then what the Hell are you two doing together? What’s left to discover about each other?
The Final Analysis
A man does not ask a woman to marry him because he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He asks her to marry him because he cannot live the rest of his life without her. If you are that woman, then he will find his way to the altar, especially if you give him a push.
But if you are not that woman, then why hang around another month let alone another year? It’s not about giving him time. Time is your enemy, sweetheart, and your clock is ticking.
Tick tock, tick tock…
RIchard Easton is the foremost authority on sex, dating and relationships. Named the “top matchmaker in the country" by i-Heart Talk Radio, Richard Easton also appears on ABC News as The Relationships Expert. Visit his website: http://www.richardeaston.com
You start chatting with a cute guy, and you think you're hitting it off, when just like that, he walks away. Um, what?! What did I do? What happened? Here are a few tips to keep him interested during those critical first few minutes to increase your odds of scoring a date, seven magnificent ways to get Mr. Right to ask you out—from a Top Life Coach in the Business — 'Doc' Richard Easton.
1. Make Real Eye Contact
Many women turn away when they like a guy, avoiding eye contact at all costs. Big mistake! Whether you’re checking out a guy from across the room, or you just started talking with one, make sure you look into his eyes. Locking eyes will signal your'e interested. A little smile will help too. Remember, some of the best men are shy. Let him know you like him.
2. Boobs Away
Men love short skirts and spaghetti strap dresses. Most men love legs in all lengths. A fresh pedi in strappy sandals does it for us too. Just be mindful of that plunging neckline. A good rule of thumb is the bigger your boobs, the less you want them pushed up or hanging out, otherwise you could send the wrong message to the wrong kind of guy (ahem, players.) That’s not to say you have to cover up like a nun, just think tastefully. Mr. Right will approach you if you look sexy, not trashy.
3. ‘Wit-l’ Your Way In
A recurring request from my friends and colleagues is: “Please introduce me to a pretty, witty girl.” Quick wit showcases your sense of humor and intelligence, two qualities that men look for in long-term relationships just like you do. Keep in mind that being witty isn’t the same as cracking joke after joke. Subtlety is key. Light-hearted sarcasm is great fun too. Practice makes perfect.
4. Don’t Look Miserable in Public
Take a look around. Notice the happy people? How about the unhappy ones? Yep. It's easy. If you’re out in public, no matter where or when, put on your happy face, or you won’t attract anyone. Copious amounts of negativity shows. The guy across the room can see it, everyone can, even the guy you haven't noticed yet. Men want to meet happy women not unhappy ones. If you're asking yourself often, why doesn't a guy like that ever ask me out, then you may have your answer.
5. Body Language Counts Too
So, he thinks you are totally hot, but you’re intimidating him with your body language. If you cross your arms, then you may as well wear a banner: “Not Interested.” Men are receptive to women who are open to meeting people. He’ll approach you because he likes the way you laugh with your friends and feel comfortable, not arrogant, in your own skin. If you’re sitting, cross your legs in his direction with your free foot facing toward him. That says come over. The opposite direction says stay away.
6. Confidence is Key
When you’re comfortable with yourself, it shows. Wherever you go, carry yourself proudly and with good posture. Keep your eyes at eye level and look around, taking in all that’s beautiful in your great city. If you see something you like, smile. When you shake hands with a new acquaintance, grip their hand firmly and make eye contact. If you have an air of confidence with the posture and mannerisms to back it up, you will absolutely intrigue and captivate the men around you.
7. Carpe Diem
It's a brave new world. If you have great radar for quality men, and the one you noticed isn't making a move, walk over and introduce yourself. Men love being approached and asked out just as much as you do. It’s so flattering! If you like the guy, go for it! The worst thing he can say is no, in which case you didn't waste anymore time wishing he'd walk over. On the other hand, he may say “I’d love to!"
Above all, have fun. Being your happy, delightful self is the goal, not a date. The positive energy and sexy signals you send into the universe will surely attract others, then before you know it, your dance card will be full. Good luck Ladies.
Love, Richard Easton
Richard Easton: www.richardeaston.com
I recently asked a group of attractive single women for their biggest complaints in dating. It seems we men make such blunders as fail to open the door for her, help her off and on with her coat, pull out her chair at the dinner table, wait to sit until she does, tend to her wine glass, stand when she visits the powder room, hail her a taxi and pay for it, that is, if we cannot deliver her home and make certain she makes it safely inside before we blaze off into the moonlight.
Women want us to be decisive. It is polite to ask her what she would like to do, but if she says whatever you want, then take charge. Few gestures will impress her more than a well-planned evening, and "you had better pay for it Mister or don’t ask me out in the first place." Don’t cancel either: "If he cannot organize his schedule, forget it; I don’t care if he was called into a meeting with The President!"
We don’t walk on the outside of the sidewalk near street-side either, and we don’t lead her through a crowded bar or theater, Busted! - and if we do help her on with her coat, we forget to pull her long hair out, Ooooops! We drink too much on a first date, and then grope her thinking she’s as tipsy as we are. She isn’t, of course, so she assumes we're all horny alcoholics. Well, when she's right, she's right. Ha!
Now if you want to make a truly great impression, wear a sports jacket, "It's so avant garde," and make certain your shoes are clean and polished, "We women check out men's shoes." Be nice to the driver, waiter, coat check girl, homeless guy, everybody. Turn off your phone and leave it in your jacket. Tip well—she’s watching to see if you are generous. Find things about her to compliment but be sincere and don’t overdo it. Pick her up or at least offer. Deliver her home, and get this, kiss her before you reach the doorman or that Rhett Butler tonsillectomy will turn into a peck on the cheek.
Talk about your hobbies but never about your mother, Oedipus! Listen to what she is saying to create a dialogue not a monologue. Don’t tell her she is your soulmate on a first date: "It’s creepy." But if you like her, tell her, and don’t wait three days to call. Flowers are always good, but too many candles in your apartment is taboo: "We know you want to sleep with us but a lot of candles screams playboy."
And the number one way to her heart — make her laugh. Good luck gentlemen.
Richard Easton is the top matchmaker in the country according to ABC News RichardEaston.com