By Richard Easton
“A man does not ask a woman to marry him because he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He asks her to marry him because he cannot live the rest of his life without her.”
It’s a young woman’s worst nightmare. You fall in love with prince charming, imagining yourself married, someday starting a family. You think you have a clear understanding between you, but the years clip by so fast. You know he’s The One, but the more invested you become in your relationship, the less pressure you want to put on a marriage proposal, afraid he’ll run away, until one day, you awaken to discover “he’s never gonna marry you.” Your best years are behind you. You are totally fucked.
Women have been conditioned not to put any pressure on men for fear he'll pull ripcord. You think we don’t know what we want or when we want it. Think again. You cannot lose someone you do not have. Just know if you are The One, then it’s magic, but if you are not The One, then there is nothing you can do except move on—NOW!
Let’s look at the character flaw of The Procrastinator. These men can spend many years with you, intertwine their lives with yours, then suddenly break up with you, or trick you into breaking up with them, yet never feel the least bit guilty about it. They can break up with you on Sunday, be ready to date by Friday, and may have a date lined up. The Procrastinator rationalizes: “She had fun. I paid for everything. She is still beautiful. She can go online. I helped her rent a studio. She doesn’t really want children anyway, she just says she does. It didn’t work for me. What else could I do? It wasn’t my fault.” No remorse. None. Nada.
The Procrastinator will say things like: “What’s the rush? We have our whole lives to be married and start a family.“ No you don’t. He does. He can father children into his fifties. You start running out of time at thirty. You two can start out near the same age, be together for years, and then he can leave you to marry a woman many years younger. Happens every day.
The Decent Man
In contrast, the decent man would never stay in a relationship he sensed were going nowhere. He would set you free so you could fulfill your wish. He would realize that you have this window of opportunity, and if he took that opportunity away from you just because your relationship was comfortable and convenient for him, then he could never live with himself. He would rather be alone and lonely than see you miss out on marriage and children. But not this other motherfucker. He couldn’t give a shit less.
Know When to Pull the Trigger
Here is the turning point, that pivotal moment when you either find the courage to get what you want, or you are too afraid to take the risk. Let’s start with simple questions:
What have you got to lose by pushing him to pop the question? Nothing if you are The One. If you are The One, he could never let you go. When is the right time to expect a marriage proposal? Anytime between six to eighteen months. If any longer than that, then what the Hell are you two doing together? What’s left to discover about each other?
The Final Analysis
A man does not ask a woman to marry him because he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He asks her to marry him because he cannot live the rest of his life without her. If you are that woman, then he will find his way to the altar, especially if you give him a push.
But if you are not that woman, then why hang around another month let alone another year? It’s not about giving him time. Time is your enemy, sweetheart, and your clock is ticking.
Tick tock, tick tock…
RIchard Easton is the foremost authority on sex, dating and relationships. Named the “top matchmaker in the country" by i-Heart Talk Radio, Richard Easton also appears on ABC News as The Relationships Expert. Visit his website: http://www.richardeaston.com